Player Tracker

•  Lehmanns
•  Diaby
•  Sagna
•  Fabregas
•  Toure
•  Senderos
•  Rosicky
•  Eduardo
•  Gallas
•  Van Persie
•  Hleb
•  Denilson
•  Flamini
•  Song
•  Silva
•  Fabianski
•  Clichy
•  Almunia
•  Adebayor
•  Bendtner
•  Eboue
•  Traore
•  Hoyte
•  Walcott
•  Barazite
•  Lansbury
•  Randall
•  Gibbs
•  Mannone
•  Hoyte
•  Perez
•  Simpson
•  Nordtveit

UTA! Home Guest Editor Talking Arse! Features The Library Subscriptions Contributions Contact Us Links About UTA!

Up The Arse! Arse-O-Meter

Check the state of your Arse from the comfort of your browser!

• Can't be bothered forming your own opinions?
• You believe every word from the pen of Harry Harris?
• You think the OPTA statistics are a genuine reflection on how good a player is?

Then you've come to the right place. After all, who wants to be the lone voice defending Thierry Henry for his overall team play, when the rest of your mates are demanding that Wenger sells him beuase he hasn't scored another wonder goal?

Simply check here after each match to find out what you should be saying after the match in work or down the pub.

Please Note

All opinions expressed on this page are those of the miserable sod who sits behind you, not those of the editorial staff, so don't bother emailing us on this subject.

The EnglandOMeter has been cancelled due to there being no updates for the last 7 years