The FAPL's Reply

This isn't the actual text of the letter from the FA Premier League Legal department, but it is a pretty accurate paraphrase. If anyone wants a copy for the purposes of "reporting news", email us and we'll be happy to send you a copy as that particular use of copyright material is exempt from the copyright act!

From: juvenile.laughter@suegrabbitandrunne.com

NOT FOR PUBLICATION

Dear Mr Aardvark.

The Money Grabbing Gits who run the top league in this country ("FAPL"). [We believe this change in name to be fair comment!]

The email you sent to Amy Butler, the person who started bullying fans web sites, on the 1 December 2000 has finally got around to being dealt with. We hoped it would go away, but unfortunately those bastards at Private Eye revealed its contents. Okay so we're interested in it now and warn you that if you dare publish this letter we'll be coming to get you.
[Actually it doesn't say they'll be coming to get us, but that's either what they mean or they're making an idle threat.]

Whilst we realise that it may just be a piss take, we have to reply to it just in case.

Firstly, we don't run www.fa-carling.com.

Secondly, we deleted all copies of the email you sent and we're going to pretend that no-one here read it or reads Private Eye or has been defending it on Radio 5, or visited the BBC Online site or fielded queries about it from the press. That way when we break your copyright by publishing the new fixture list that we can pretend haven't seen it, even though we know what you've done. If you send it again we won't open it. So there!

We don't think you stand a snowballs chance in hell of stopping us because the FA Premier League are a big organisation with lots of money and can therefore choose to ignore you.

If you want to  take this matter any further, then you'll have to sue us and we know you don't have enough money to pay for a solicitor to do that.

Yours unfaithfully

Sue Grabbit & Runne.

This is an email from Sue, Grabbit & Runne. The bullying Legal firm representing the FA Premier League. We're too ashamed of this whole episode to allow you to publish our correspondence, so don't try it. If we sent it to the wrong person, please tell us immediately by telephone on +44 113 246 0622 or email us at enquiries@mccormicks-solicitors.com
Our main office is at: Britannia Chambers, 4 Oxford Place, Leeds LS1 3AX, United Kingdom.